I'm a Baby Giraffe!

Muscle Man and I have not long returned from a work trip to Melbourne. Whilst down there I decided to take Jim and Bob to the Melbourne Museum.

One of the many exhibitions at the museum related to baby animals, and their sizes. Naturally Jim was delighted with the hands on exhibits, including a larger than life scale which gave some weight comparisons to the unsuspecting human victim and the animal they most correlate with weight wise.

Jim being the light weight he is had a weight relative to that of a baby Emperor Penguin. That's nice and petite (and gorgeous) I thought. Let me try. Well, I'm not sure what would have been worse, actually seeing a digit flash up on a screen advising me I'm still carrying extra Christmas kilo's, or the animal I apparently weigh - a baby Giraffe! Surely I couldn't weigh as much as that! A baby giraffe would have 40 kilos alone in their neck, right......*cough*

Just for prosperity here is a picture of that brutal scale - I suppose I should be pleased I'm only the giraffe and not the hippo ;o)

A bad week

Well, as the title suggests, it's a bad week (or month) for Alfie.

It all Started last week with the very sad demise of my treadmill. Muscle Man is to blame (true story) for putting too much of that 'muscle weight' into use and attempting to run at the fastest speed, on the highest incline, with a run up and leap to start! Needless to say the treadmill has died and along with it his sex life for a month - penance!!

In all seriousness though I am quite distressed that I no longer have an-in-home-exercise option! Canberra is averaging 36 degree temps at present and with Muscle Man away for work (escape became his only option) I am left with resorting to pushing Jim and Bob in my twin jogger in the heat! Without the endless excuses of yester-year, I have been dutifully running with the boys in the pram. It's a hard slog I tells ya! The weight of them combined and the pram equals close to (if not more than) 45 kilos. Add my weight to that and I may as well be running with a lead belt tied around my waist AND the weight I've lost to date. Oh and let's not forget that I should be doing so in a sauna with an overhead column heater blaring on my face and an industrial sized fan blowing directly in front of me.

Why then if I know I can run outside and can do so in less then favourable conditions, am I that upset about my faithful tready's death? Well, I guess being the year of honesty (Bugger the OX) I may as well spit it out - I have exercise agoraphobia! That's right, you read it here folks, I dislike exercising in public. It scares me. I feel like a fraud. My butt jiggles, my breathing isn't always as cool as a cucumber, I have a little muffin top spilling out my gym pants, and did I mention my bum jiggles.

I realise this all comes down to my own social perception of 'fitness' but when I envision a women jogging, I have this ingrained picture of perfection.....

A sports crop-top sitting on perky breasts with no signs of 3.8 yrs of breastfeeding and weight loss behind them, a wash board stomach with perfect muscle definition with every jogging step she takes - not a stretch-marked, saggy, 'used as an incubator' for 18 months stomach. I see slender muscled thighs which are firm and flexed with every stride she takes - I don't see thigh chaff and residual wobble as the Chariots of Fire theme song plays in the back ground whilst the remainder of thigh and cellulite catch up to the rest of the leg (all in slow motion of course). I see a perfectly taught and tiny bum, the kinda bum that hot pants were made for, not a wide load with saddle bags, cottage cheese dimples and JIGGLE.

I KNOW I can run. I KNOW I am great at running. I just don't look like a runner. This perception was confirmed yesterday when I mentioned to a colleague I'd been for a jog at 5.45am and he quipped back with "Oh, you run? I wouldn't have picked that". OUCH!

To me, my treadmill represented my right to jiggle in private. It represented my ability to set 3 pedestal fans up around me, put an episode of Desperate Housewives on and run to my hearts content in an environment where no jiggle, no breast sag, no cellulite or thigh chaff could possibly be subject to thoughts of "Oh, you run? I wouldn't have picked that".

Perhaps though, I need to look at this from another angle, and change my own perception about REAL women who run. Some of us do jiggle, some of us puff, some of us have stretch marks and exercise agoraphobia (yes, I made this terminology up) BUT at the heart of it, the main thing I NEED to remember is that some of us just get out there and do it anyway.

A leaf out of my own blog

Happy New Year Bloggers :o)

How pitiful that in December I only made time for 1 blog entry. Shameful. I apologise. None- the-less, with January in full swing the time to get back on the keyboard has never been better. After all, January is the month where we inevitably start making new years resolutions and goals for the coming year.

This year I must admit I haven't made too many resolutions. In previous years without fail 'lose weight' was a resolution, and whilst I could have easily stated the same for 2009, I have decided that this is the year where I really need to focus on learning to love ME. Flaws and all, excess weight included.

I must admit I feel like a real fraud writing this particular entry when previous blog entry's have focused on learning to love oneself inclusive of cellulite, fat, stretch marks, lop-sided boobs and excess baby weight.

I'm not quite sure what went wrong towards the end of last year but somewhere along the way I stopped heeding (and to a point, believing) my own advice and strongly reverted back to my critical self-loathing behaviour. Did I gain weight? No. Did I keep exercising and eating well? Yes, but, was I happy and most importantly truly healthy during that time? No.

So, as far as resolutions go, my biggest one for 2009 is learning to change my negative thoughts (such as "my butt is the size of a walrus' and wearing yellow makes me look like Homer Simpson") and learning to appreciate, really appreciate, the strengths I have.

I have to be honest and say that I am not sure if I can achieve this on my own and it is possible that a trip (or 10) to a psychologist may be required however, one thing I can say for sure is that I am determined to change my thinking. Realistically I know just like I knew I had to loose weight, that I can not go one berating (or comparing) myself anymore.

So, this year my blog will remain focused on 'weight-loss' but rather than solely referring to the excess bulge around my middle, I'll be writing about my experiences with shedding the weight which I carry around in my head. The thoughts and statements I make about myself which continue to weigh me down!

I hope you'll join me for the ride :)

Alfie xxx

Tis the season....

With the ‘silly season’ now upon us it seems the perfect time to stop and have a think about ways to keep the Christmas indulgence balanced to ensure our thighs don’t end up looking like the Christmas Ham.

If you are anything like me you will have many pressing social engagements over the coming weeks. All involving an abundance of food, drinks and of course merriment (aka: egg nog). be it work Christmas parties, mother’s group parties, family parties, friends, more family, and of course the big day itself.

The one day of the year where we seem to think it socially acceptable to eat until we are literally bursting out of our pants. The day where Uncle Herbert proceeds to undo his belt buckle and allow the button and zip from his jeans to slowly unfurl (or pop right off) to allow for the second helping of Christmas pudding and Aunt Ethel's trifle. Even worse someone in the family inevitably wears elastic waisted pants specifically allowing for easy stretching after a lunch AND dinner of pure indulgence.

Last Christmas I actually managed to jog 7 kms in between lunch and dinner. However, I then knowingly proceeded to eat every inch of food insight and completely make redundant my earlier efforts. In hindsight I would have been much better placed simply skipping the jog and reducing the quantity of food on my plate!

So, how do we avoid the extra Christmas kilos this year? Well, sadly my only answers are the same as usual. Move more and eat less. If your family is likely to have a vast array of mouth-watering-yet-weight-increasing-snacks on offer before the turkey makes an appearance, how about taking along a healthy fruit platter to share.

I am always bemused to see that the platters with celery, carrot sticks, humus, dried fruit and nuts, grapes, cherries and a variety of other low fat snack items seem to be the first off the plate.

If I were to give you my top 5 Christmas day tips they would be:

1: Start the day with a healthy, filling breakfast. I know some families start Christmas day with brunch. If this is you, consider indulging in summer fruits, healthy sea food, freshly squeezed juices, summer muesli's and yogurts mixed with seasonal berries. (NB: A glass of champagne is of course a must).

2: Take a 2 litre bottle of water with you. Christmas in Oz is hot of course and mostly always involves sun and champagne. If nothing else, your water will at best keep the hangover at bay till after 5pm!

3: Take the skin off! Not the quintessential sunburn we Aussies are so prone too – but rather, the skin off your bird. Chicken, turkey and pork are all meats high in protein. Whilst I too lament the skin is often the tastiest part, it’s also the part laden with fat and guaranteed to increase the size of my thighs! Over Christmas think about taking the skin off your meat and adding a teaspoon of home made apple sauce for some extra flavour!

4: Have a Christmas day stroll instead of an after lunch nap! For as long as I can recall my folks would have an afternoon nap in between lunch and dinner. Perhaps it was to recharge their batteries before the partying (eating) continued, or perhaps it was a direct result of the bodies exhausted efforts at digesting a days worth of food consumed in one hour!

It is often the case that when one feels full, they will also feel lethargy. So, how about this year rather than having a nap – take a walk. A gentle stroll around the block will give your body a chance to digest the ice-cream and trifle and give you a nice energy boost from the increased heart rate and blood flow! Hey, if nothing else you’ll be prepped for round 2.

5: Last but not least – put your party frock on and boogie! Christmas is a celebration and celebrations in my book are worth donning your pretty dress and fancy heels and reflecting on all the year has been. Laugh with your friends and family, enjoy good food and drink. And, if you do over-indulge - make sure you enjoy it - you can always work it off later :o)

Happy Christmas Season guys :)

Detox over!

Hooray, detox is over!

Actually if I am honest with my loyal readers I must admit I ended it 3 days early.

I can justify it though.......

My baby sister and my awesome brother in law moved into their new home on Sunday. I volunteered to assist with the move and also weed their garden and mow their lawn (WHY GOD WHY????????????!!!!).

Truth be told, I actually really enjoy gardening. Being out in the garden and seeing the small improvements simply ripping weeds (at least I assume they are weeds) makes, fills me with glee (small things/small minds and all that). Not to mention it's free and usually my hobbies involve spending a fair portion of money needlessly!

Any-who, after spending the afternoon lifting boxes and weeding, I decided to venture inside for a glass of tasteless and very unappealing mineral water. Typically as I entered the kitchen weeds recklessly strewn all over my clothes, dirt replacing what was previously eye-shadow, who should I run into but my brother-in-law sipping away on a cold, inviting, desirable beer! Instantaneously my lips started to tingle, my hands started to shake and naturally I started salivating. (Gosh, I sound like an alcoholic don't I - DON'T ANSWER THAT).

Now it needs to be said that beer is generally not my first drink of choice. A cold glass of white wine is. BUT (clearly it is a big but), on a summer's day when the rays from the sun are penetrating through your clothes, you're dreaming of the beach and the accompanying life-guards (ahem) and sweat is beading the very make-up off your face - beer is the answer!

Well to cut a long story short, as I stood there envious of my brother, watching the bottle reach his lips and imagining they were mine, I decided to abstain from the beer but drive straight to the shops to purchase a celebratory bottle of Moet!

As my besty remarked, you simply CAN'T say no to Moet! So there you have it, a week long detox unfurled for a glass of expensive french champagne. Perfect.

I should add that in this week I was extremely loyal to my Blackmores box and abstained from the numerous 'no no's' listed in the detox handbook despite many being in my top-5-must-have-food-group (i.e coffee). I also lost 1.5kgs (started at 71kgs and ended at 69.5kgs) which is a grand feat in anyone's books; and continued running every day despite the claim I'd barely be able to lift my head from my pillow.

It has to be said though that aside from the very obvious lack of wine with my main meal (no, not lunch) I actually felt NO different at all. I had expected unthinkable headaches, numerous toilet stops and lethargy, but nope, nudda, nill.

So, what can I conclude from this I ask you - wine is good for the body, mind and soul - clearly ;o)

"D" Day's!

Bula, Fiji was bliss!

It was so incredible in fact that Muscle Man and I are planning a return trip in March to celebrate our wedding anniversary!

I did jog once but thanks to the sand being so amazingly soft (and white) it was like attempting to run through powder snow (a very funny sight - unless you are the one trying to run in it). Needless to say after that first morning I willingly succumbed to holiday mode and took up my prime position by the pool - cocktail in one hand trashy novel in the other. Perfect.

One thing I must admit too is that I don't yet have the emotional strength to sit pool-side with a throng of amazingly beautiful women (some the mothers of multiple children) wearing string bikini's with not an inch of cellulite or trace of a stretch mark in sight. It looked so effortless for so many. Not a care in the world, not a whisper of gruelling Fijian morning runs or nastily self- critiquing every pair of shorts I wore.

Muscle Man became quite accustomed to pepping me up after each trip to the pool or beach where I would forlornly return to my room feeling like a beached whale tattooed (well scarred) with the map of the world on my not-taut mid section.

I think for anyone who has lost weight (or wants to) the battle is not simply won with loosing kilos. I've said the whole way through my blog that the quest to love ones-self and feel comfortable in our skin is more than half the journey. Fiji was a very real reminder that my battle is not yet complete and in fact if anything requires some serious adjustment of late.

So then, the question is what am I going to do about it?

Well, first things first - Dust myself off and start again! I must admit that prior to (and certainly after) holidays I had been feeling a little lax with my eating and exercise habits. Sure, I still ran/run an average of 25-30kms a week but it was becoming evident this was only enough to keep my wine and potato chip consumption at bay (yes, it was a large consumption.....of wine). Add to this the vast array of rich and indulgent foods in Fiji (not to mention the colourful and enticing drinks that come with my favourite appeal; a little umbrella and a glace cherry) and we have a recipe for thigh chaff. Yes, eventually something had to give (before my deck chair did).

So as a start, I am now on day 3 of 12 of a detox and healthy eating kick start. I am not thinking of this as a diet (I hate that word) but rather am thinking of this as a chance to replenish the soul, rejuvenate the mind and remove the excess fat! I must admit I don't feel amazingly better or worse (as had been toted) at this stage but I do feel capable and that in itself is a plus in my books!

I am of course on the eternal quest for balance and 'self-love' but surely I'll get there with baby steps right!

Yeah, I'm slack I know!

Only in the blogging sense mind you! I still run just as much, whinge as much (if not more) and curse my paternal grandmothers genes just as much as ever!

But, I am slack in the blogging arena of late and I apologise profusely. I have picked up an extra day at work and Bob now sleeps in the room which houses the computer. I am determined not to let this fall by the way-side though so I am going to make a concerted effort to update with a decent blog at least once a week. Weight loss and exercise are very much a daily frustration/lesson for me so there is more to be said!

We are off to Fiji on Tuesday - HOORAY. I have two sets of swimmers picked out and have been mentally prepping myself for the confidence to wear both without a kaftan over top! I can't wait. Muscle Man keeps lamenting to me that he is looking forward to a whole week off exercise, I lament back that I am looking forward to crisp morning runs along Fijian beaches (that and the cocktails).

I haven't been jogging outside to much at the moment as I have a seriously debilitating fear of Magpies (anyone else?). Sexy Twin on the other hand thinks she is the Maggie whisperer and runs with them daily. She takes their swooping her as a sign of encouragement and runs faster (more like runs away...).

I am thinking it's almost time to either upgrade my faithful treadmill or invest in another piece of equipment. Maybe a x-trainer. Any thoughts? I am also determined to start attending at least 1 pump class at the gym per week with Muscle Man. I simply HATE weights and yet I completely recognise their benefits.

On another note if anyone wants to pay for me to have liposuction and a boob job, feel free!!

Until next time, Bula Vinaka - Am off for the morning run!