False Advertising

"Do you want fries with that"

Tonight as I was on the treadmill, cursing every blasted step, and trying to distract myself from the agony that was my run by watching Neighbours (honestly I don't know which was worse, the run or the soapy) an advertisement came on TV for Donut King.

Imagine four waif-thin, blond, attractive girls wearing nothing but gold hot pants (enough said) and a pink singlet with "DK" planted squarely in the centre of perky bosoms (Yes, of this detail I am jealous). Now visualise these size 8, never-eaten-a-donut-in-our-life girls doing something I can only liken to synchronised swimming - on land - with a donut in hand, floral shower cap atop their perfect, skinny heads and I imagine (iPod was on) fluffy, feel-good music in the background.

"PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT REALITY"

All I generally feel when I indulge in anything from Donut King is regret. I've certainly never morphed into Tara Reid (actually...thank god) and my dancing skills and athletic prowess do not suddenly become Olympic-worthy as I taste the last morsel of my cinnamon dipped fat.

Alas, this is not the only advertisement of this nature. McDonald's, Coca Cola, Hungry Jacks, Red Rooster - you name it - they all do it.

McDonald's latest campaign resting heavily on the idea that McDonald's equals a good family time. Granted some of my own childhood memories contain family outings to McD's but I personally think this has more to do with being 1 of six children in a single-income family than a parental desire to bond over a Big Mac.

Coca-Cola another classic example - almost every Coke advert displays bikini clad women frolicking in the waves on a summer's day, sun glistening off the water and into the twinkling eye of the nearest Afro-haired, young lad whose life is about to change thanks to a fizzy drink so potent it could clean your driveway!

Of course to be fair, I get it. Sex sells. Sexy sells. Rich marketing executives of adverts such as these, are undoubtedly sitting in their penthouses paying there personal chefs and trainers, using the money spent from social misconception that donuts will inspire synchronised swimming, McDonald's will bring a family closer together, and Coke will solidify your love life - or at least guarantee a fun day at the beach.

But, let's be real about this for 5 minutes and imagine this was the advertisement. I wonder what would sell then?

And simply because you can't beat the Japanese hilarity of this advert - which would actually succeed in turning me off also!