My Sexy Twin complex

Being a twin has always come with the assumption that we choose to dress the same, speak the same, indulge in the same guilty pleasures and essentially that we are one personality in two bodies. When we were younger we revelled in this assumption because naturally being twins, we played the part. We were so accustomed to being identified as one person that at such a tender age, we knew no different than to accept the public perception and be “one”.

There is no doubt that being twins there is an unmistakable bond. We have a relationship that stems from the very core of our beings. A relationship that unlike any other comes with an undeniable oneness that no matter how we might try, we can not deny the fact that we are bound by something instinctive, something primal.

What then is the issue you may wonder? Well with social assumption comes pressure and to a large extent it has also potentially defined the way which I (and possibly sexy twin) view myself – both individually and comparatively. When you are expected to be the same, shouldn't you look the same too?

At the moment sexy twin is looking mighty tiny and I must admit that over the last few weeks I have found myself feeling like the “fat twin” again. Feelings which are reminiscent of years gone by. Growing up it was not uncommon to be told that she was the "skinnier" twin, naturally sparking a personal assumption that I must have been the "fatter" one of the pair.

The thing is, whether it is a twin, a friend, a sister, a mother, a movie star or simply Mary, Marg or Mollie next door, there are times in our lives when we do compare ourselves to others. In many ways how could we not when we are inundated with images of thin, toned, tanned women wearing string bikinis or LBD's (little black dresses), lying on a deck chair and having any male (or 4 litre container of castrol oil) within a 5 mile radius drooling.

Women of today are set up to believe that this is the way we should look. These images are defining the way in which we view not only ourselves but also the way we view others. It certainly makes it hard when in one advertisement we have waif like models swanning around on a cat-walk for "who wants to be a supermodel" and typically the very next advert will be for Jenny Craig. How can we possibly deny the subliminal messages which are being transmitted directly to our fragile 'trying-to-lose-weight' minds.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely acknowledge we have an obesity epidemic in this country, surely we all realise it. I'm personally not sure of the answer but one thing I am increasingly aware of is the need to teach self-respect, self-belief and a genuine understanding of health before teaching that a size 10 is the only way to be healthy or attractive. Perhaps to some extent my own perceptions are marred by my pessimism that society really does understand the pressure we place on young girls/women these days when it comes to body image.

Whatever the soap-box I am standing on this week, deep down I do know unequivocally that Sexy twin loves me unconditionally for me. She would never ever look at me as the “fat twin”. I also know that she would never consider herself the image, or model of what she and I should look like. I guess realistically this is yet another issue with battling the bulge. Learning to change our social and personal perception and, or, belief regarding the female form and the shape which it should allegedly take.

The weird thing about my own perception is that I often look at myself and wish to change my shape but then my shape is actually the shape I love the most on women in today’s society!

I guess that there is yet another example of my own body dysmorphia! Naturally I blame the media ;o)

A not so subtle sign!

This morning when I went to clean my teeth in the bathroom I noticed my scales were wet. Using my powers of investigation (i.e. asking the males in my life what happened) I was able to deduce that Jim had pee'd on them! Now Jim has been toilet trained for over 6 months so I can only assume this is his way of telling me he loves me just the way I am and to abandon the scales ;o)

He's a keeper!

Spring has Sprung

Spring has finally sprung, and for me, alongside spring comes a new vigour to enjoy life and smell the roses. I have found myself walking outside the last few days with a goofy-half-cocked smile on my face and a renewed feeling of health, well-being and motivation.

Maybe I love spring so much because in my family it represents so much life. Sexy Twin and I share a birthday in October. My Dad, younger sister, two youngest brothers, one niece, one nephew, and of course MY newest baby Bob, are also all born in spring.

Walk around any lake or parkland and you'll likely see baby ducklings, smell daffodils or John quills blooming; and living in the Nations Capital we are inundated with delicious smelling cherry blossoms and golden wattle. What's not to love. (Muscle Man just said hayfever! Condolences to all you sufferers)

It does however also mark the season when every second advertisement on TV is for weight loss clinics, meal replacement diets, gyms, pills or over the counter diet cures and every other "miracle cure, lose weight fast scheme". Let's be honest, in many ways it is the perfect time to start advertising these items. People are painfully aware that summer is nearly upon us and with that particular season comes the threat of swimmers, shorts, sleeveless tops and sadly for me - regular leg shaving (so lazy through winter!).

In my pre-fab days, I dreaded the onslaught of slender girls with long tanned appendages wearing 1/3rd of the clothing I was. I dreaded the thought of shopping for summer clothes; painfully aware muffins were a winter food and not a flattering look when displayed on your mid-section.

I dreaded the fact that my peers would be frolicking around in the waves on beach weekends away, and Sunday picnics to the local river, whilst I would be sitting on shore nursing my low self-esteem and rapidly diminishing levels of fun. I dreaded summer nights out when girlfriends would be dressed in flowing, slender summer dresses and if lucky, I'd have found a suitable kaftan. I am sure whenever there is something you fear, the world conspires against you and suddenly it's all you see. Swimmers, dresses, singlets, shorts, BIKINI'S would chase me in my summer night dreams.

Well, let's not let this summer be like that. Let's not let our fears, rational or otherwise, see us racing to the cupboard for a handful of chocolate and a smattering of chips whenever the word "shorts" is heard. Let's make this Spring season the start of brisk walks outside, indulging in fresh salads and ripe fruits, taking in the beauty of life and making genuine changes to ensure an enjoyable summer, now and for many more to come.

My best Spring tips to prepare for a beaut summer:

1: Take advantage of the extra warmth and light we currently have. Aim to walk for a minimum of 20 minutes during your day. If you work, go for a walk in your lunch break or after work before the last light. If you are home with kidlets aim to take them to the park a few times a week. Maybe try a different park every 2nd day and try and add an extra 5 minutes to your walk.

2: Start making salads for lunch. Salads can be interesting (although we all know you don't make friends with salad). Add sliced mushrooms, a spoonful of corn kernels, a tin of tuna, cherry tomatoes, a sprinkle of lite feta cheese, pinenuts, and english spinach or rocket for something new.

3: Spend a few minutes each day taking some deep breaths and stretching. As you do so focus on the fact that you CAN achieve your goals without the aid of marketing and scare tactics (i.e diet pills and shakes).

4: Visualise yourself at goals. Imagine yourself strutting the beach in your shorts. Imagine yourself in that summer dress or flowing skirt. Then set realistic time frames to those goals. Allow yourself time to enjoy life, indulge when you want too, and rest when you need. Moderation truly is the key.

5: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! We can be our own worst enemy but also our biggest strength. Make the choice to be your biggest strength.

Remember - smelling the roses is a cliche, but it's a tried, tested and true one (in my opinion!).