My Sexy Twin complex

Being a twin has always come with the assumption that we choose to dress the same, speak the same, indulge in the same guilty pleasures and essentially that we are one personality in two bodies. When we were younger we revelled in this assumption because naturally being twins, we played the part. We were so accustomed to being identified as one person that at such a tender age, we knew no different than to accept the public perception and be “one”.

There is no doubt that being twins there is an unmistakable bond. We have a relationship that stems from the very core of our beings. A relationship that unlike any other comes with an undeniable oneness that no matter how we might try, we can not deny the fact that we are bound by something instinctive, something primal.

What then is the issue you may wonder? Well with social assumption comes pressure and to a large extent it has also potentially defined the way which I (and possibly sexy twin) view myself – both individually and comparatively. When you are expected to be the same, shouldn't you look the same too?

At the moment sexy twin is looking mighty tiny and I must admit that over the last few weeks I have found myself feeling like the “fat twin” again. Feelings which are reminiscent of years gone by. Growing up it was not uncommon to be told that she was the "skinnier" twin, naturally sparking a personal assumption that I must have been the "fatter" one of the pair.

The thing is, whether it is a twin, a friend, a sister, a mother, a movie star or simply Mary, Marg or Mollie next door, there are times in our lives when we do compare ourselves to others. In many ways how could we not when we are inundated with images of thin, toned, tanned women wearing string bikinis or LBD's (little black dresses), lying on a deck chair and having any male (or 4 litre container of castrol oil) within a 5 mile radius drooling.

Women of today are set up to believe that this is the way we should look. These images are defining the way in which we view not only ourselves but also the way we view others. It certainly makes it hard when in one advertisement we have waif like models swanning around on a cat-walk for "who wants to be a supermodel" and typically the very next advert will be for Jenny Craig. How can we possibly deny the subliminal messages which are being transmitted directly to our fragile 'trying-to-lose-weight' minds.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely acknowledge we have an obesity epidemic in this country, surely we all realise it. I'm personally not sure of the answer but one thing I am increasingly aware of is the need to teach self-respect, self-belief and a genuine understanding of health before teaching that a size 10 is the only way to be healthy or attractive. Perhaps to some extent my own perceptions are marred by my pessimism that society really does understand the pressure we place on young girls/women these days when it comes to body image.

Whatever the soap-box I am standing on this week, deep down I do know unequivocally that Sexy twin loves me unconditionally for me. She would never ever look at me as the “fat twin”. I also know that she would never consider herself the image, or model of what she and I should look like. I guess realistically this is yet another issue with battling the bulge. Learning to change our social and personal perception and, or, belief regarding the female form and the shape which it should allegedly take.

The weird thing about my own perception is that I often look at myself and wish to change my shape but then my shape is actually the shape I love the most on women in today’s society!

I guess that there is yet another example of my own body dysmorphia! Naturally I blame the media ;o)