Happy New Year Bloggers :o)
How pitiful that in December I only made time for 1 blog entry. Shameful. I apologise. None- the-less, with January in full swing the time to get back on the keyboard has never been better. After all, January is the month where we inevitably start making new years resolutions and goals for the coming year.
This year I must admit I haven't made too many resolutions. In previous years without fail 'lose weight' was a resolution, and whilst I could have easily stated the same for 2009, I have decided that this is the year where I really need to focus on learning to love ME. Flaws and all, excess weight included.
I must admit I feel like a real fraud writing this particular entry when previous blog entry's have focused on learning to love oneself inclusive of cellulite, fat, stretch marks, lop-sided boobs and excess baby weight.
I'm not quite sure what went wrong towards the end of last year but somewhere along the way I stopped heeding (and to a point, believing) my own advice and strongly reverted back to my critical self-loathing behaviour. Did I gain weight? No. Did I keep exercising and eating well? Yes, but, was I happy and most importantly truly healthy during that time? No.
So, as far as resolutions go, my biggest one for 2009 is learning to change my negative thoughts (such as "my butt is the size of a walrus' and wearing yellow makes me look like Homer Simpson") and learning to appreciate, really appreciate, the strengths I have.
I have to be honest and say that I am not sure if I can achieve this on my own and it is possible that a trip (or 10) to a psychologist may be required however, one thing I can say for sure is that I am determined to change my thinking. Realistically I know just like I knew I had to loose weight, that I can not go one berating (or comparing) myself anymore.
So, this year my blog will remain focused on 'weight-loss' but rather than solely referring to the excess bulge around my middle, I'll be writing about my experiences with shedding the weight which I carry around in my head. The thoughts and statements I make about myself which continue to weigh me down!
I hope you'll join me for the ride :)
Alfie xxx
2021 Review Thingo
2 years ago
5 comments:
I have missed your blogging!! Yours is my number one go to, so you made me very sad in December. :P Not really but I truely did miss your posts.
Well looks like you and I have the same resolution. I have already got my first apptment with a pysc on the 17th to deal with many of my issues including my self loathing.
Hope it all goes well.
Happy New Year.
Oh I am pleased that you have posted :) I only found your blog a couple of weeks when researching losing weight after baby and breastfeeding.
I understand too well what you mean about the emotional weight in one's head. It took me too long to realise my excess weight was much more than neding to eat better and get my butt off the couch.
I started focusing more about 2 months ago and finding your blog was perfect timing, as I really needed motivation.
Thank you for being so honest in sharing your journey, it really does help so much hearing others who have been there before me.
Good to see you back! One of my goals for this year is to get rid of what I call my 'fat goggles' as well - and try to see the things that i have improved rather than all the things that I'm still not happy about!
And a trip to a psych sounds like a good thing - as long as they're a good psych!
Nat
This was very interesting reading Alfie - I too was in a similar situation at the end of last year. Losing the emotional kilograms is so much harder than losing the physical ones. Worth the effort though. I hope you're going well, and thank you for writing this - I feel very comforted knowing that other people feel like this as well. :)
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