"D" Day's!

Bula, Fiji was bliss!

It was so incredible in fact that Muscle Man and I are planning a return trip in March to celebrate our wedding anniversary!

I did jog once but thanks to the sand being so amazingly soft (and white) it was like attempting to run through powder snow (a very funny sight - unless you are the one trying to run in it). Needless to say after that first morning I willingly succumbed to holiday mode and took up my prime position by the pool - cocktail in one hand trashy novel in the other. Perfect.

One thing I must admit too is that I don't yet have the emotional strength to sit pool-side with a throng of amazingly beautiful women (some the mothers of multiple children) wearing string bikini's with not an inch of cellulite or trace of a stretch mark in sight. It looked so effortless for so many. Not a care in the world, not a whisper of gruelling Fijian morning runs or nastily self- critiquing every pair of shorts I wore.

Muscle Man became quite accustomed to pepping me up after each trip to the pool or beach where I would forlornly return to my room feeling like a beached whale tattooed (well scarred) with the map of the world on my not-taut mid section.

I think for anyone who has lost weight (or wants to) the battle is not simply won with loosing kilos. I've said the whole way through my blog that the quest to love ones-self and feel comfortable in our skin is more than half the journey. Fiji was a very real reminder that my battle is not yet complete and in fact if anything requires some serious adjustment of late.

So then, the question is what am I going to do about it?

Well, first things first - Dust myself off and start again! I must admit that prior to (and certainly after) holidays I had been feeling a little lax with my eating and exercise habits. Sure, I still ran/run an average of 25-30kms a week but it was becoming evident this was only enough to keep my wine and potato chip consumption at bay (yes, it was a large consumption.....of wine). Add to this the vast array of rich and indulgent foods in Fiji (not to mention the colourful and enticing drinks that come with my favourite appeal; a little umbrella and a glace cherry) and we have a recipe for thigh chaff. Yes, eventually something had to give (before my deck chair did).

So as a start, I am now on day 3 of 12 of a detox and healthy eating kick start. I am not thinking of this as a diet (I hate that word) but rather am thinking of this as a chance to replenish the soul, rejuvenate the mind and remove the excess fat! I must admit I don't feel amazingly better or worse (as had been toted) at this stage but I do feel capable and that in itself is a plus in my books!

I am of course on the eternal quest for balance and 'self-love' but surely I'll get there with baby steps right!