Biggest Loser

I've just finished watching tonight's episode of the Biggest Loser. First up it has to be said SAM AND BRYCE ROCK! I'd be stoked if either of those guys won. All the contestants have come so far and it really is amazing to watch their emotional growth, alongside their phsyical reduction.

On tonight's episode they showed the contestants audition tapes. Even though I was easily 30-50kgs lighter to begin with then almost all of them, I could completely relate to the heartache each of them were feeling in the initial stages of their BL journey. Sure, not to the same extent and I won't pretend I know how it feels to weigh so much that a finish line is simply not visible, but I do know how it feels to loathe looking in a mirror, or clothes shopping. I know how it feels to have such low self-esteem that you hide behind whatever you can. Be it enormous clothes, a good sense of humour, a brick wall, a million excuses for your weight. Whatever it is, at one point or another anyone who has issues with their physical appearance will try and hide behind something. Try to be oblivious and unseen in a room full of people (even though half the time you are incredibly aware that you are the first one seen based on size!).

I recall so vividly during College and High school wearing the biggest jumper I could find and baggy pants, yet standing beside Sexy Twin wearing midriffs (somehow they were cool back then) and hipster jeans and feeling such immense envy, but also such huge shame over my own body, and my body image.

I have come to learn that we absolutely place the highest criticism on ourselves and see all the flaws which others may not. I think when you are unhappy with your own appearance, or personality, you tend to LOOK for flaws. flaws that in actual fact could just as easily be wonderful, unique traits that others love unconditionally.

Being unhappy with oneself is really like a monkey on your back. You constantly nit-pick (ewwww) and look for something to remove. One of my proudest achievements with my weight loss is gaining a sense of self respect and slowly, but surely, learning to love myself!

I hope the contestants from the BL can, or have, learnt the same.