Pole Dancing

Prior to Sexy twins wedding we celebrated her Hens night on a lake cruise. In addition to 30 odd tipsy women and Raspberry Vodka cocktails (wow, anyone else thinking alcoholic yet based on my post history?!) there was a lovely dancing pole in the centre of the boat. Well, after said cocktails I formed some what of a love affair with the pole. Never has so much fun been had at a party for me. In my pre-fab days you would never have caught me throwing myself precariously and seductively (hey it's a strippers pole, let's be honest!) at a pole. A packet of salt and vinegar chips, perhaps - anything that required any sort of muscles or co-ordination on my behalf, not a chance.

So, after spending an exhilarating (and intense exercise) night with "the pole" I decided to try my hand at pole dancing classes. I found a women's only pole gym in Canberra http://wwwfitsistas.com.au/ and enrolled in one term. I absolutely loved it. My pole dancing repertoire now contains moves such as the 'scissors', the 'nut cracker' (it's as bad as it sounds if you miss-judge this move), and my personal favourite; 'the pony'.

It's a funny thing pole dancing. Despite the classes being women only, somehow dancing in itty-bitty shorts in front of a wall of mirrors to Britney Spears latest hit (???) looking a little uncoordinated as you try and grapple the pony with a slow descent into the scissors, you feel sexy!

Each week I would come home and wish I had a pole in my bedroom so I could show Muscle Man my strength (I can now climb half way up said pole you see) and perhaps ooze a little spice into the bedroom. Alas, attempting to show people the nut cracker on a bus stop is a lot less sexy (possibly because on a bus stop it is a guaranteed nut cracker!). Admittedly I've actually Ebayed poles and practically taken measurements of floor to ceiling distance to determine if it's possible to fit one in the house ;o) Ebay certainly sells poles but the thing that allot of people may not realise is that a true dancing pole will actually spin on it's own axis, making each 'trick' easier to perform. Spinning poles are roughly $400-$700 which makes me think I'd need to 'work' the pole to pay off the pole!

A few days ago Nardi was shopping in Priceline when she happened upon a dancing pole for sale! Well, you can imagine her surprise (it is Priceline after all) and excitement as she dialed my number to report her find. I take it as a reflection of our true friendship when my besty rings me to advise of such a sale. I excitedly assured her I would scope out Priceline this week to assess their poles (doesn't sound quite right does it...).

Well, today I ventured into Priceline. Sure enough in the aisle with Celebrity Slim meal replacement shakes, thigh masters and ab-doers sat a stand of dancing poles, or as they are labelled "Fitness poles" (perhaps this is a preventative measure to stop people opening their own home strip clubs?!). Well, aghast and excited all at the same time I raced (as subtly as possible when one is carrying a piece of equipment primarily identified in the sex industry) to the checkout to enquire as to the cost. It reminded me of the first time I ever bought tampons, or a pregnancy test where despite the fact you'll never see these people again you blame it on a close friend. You know the old "I think this is the one she was after.......". Well the pole, believe it or not, was only THIRTY DOLLARS!!

Upon hearing the price I was seconds away from making the purchase when a few thoughts ran through my head. Does this pole spin, how much weight can it hold, can I use this pole to pay off some debt (jokes), where will I put it? Our bedroom is decidedly too small for any of my myriad of tricks so it would have to be the lounge room. Hmmm, this then begs questions such as "what will I tell my mother-in-law, or random guests". As much as I am sure dinner parties would be a blast with my encouraging friends to bring appropriate "pole attire" to have a swing in between the entree and the main, I am sure more than curious looks would be attracted by some. "Hello friend, please hang your hat over our coat stand and never mind the fact we have had to temporarily glue hooks on in between using it as a pole to disguise the fact it is actually a POLE". So, with these thoughts running through my head I decided to leave the pole where it was sitting and re-enroll in another term of classes at FitSistas! Who knows, maybe by then Nardi will have erected one for me on her party deck (either that or tomorrows blog will announce I bought it).