The Punisher

Sexy Twin lives in front of a mountain. It's not Kilimanjaro or anything of that nature, but it's not bad for a mountain in the middle of the 'burbs. She and I walk up there fairly often with the kidlets. I have my big twin pram and she has her aptly named Jeep (you know, 4WD - great for all terrains).

We have broken the mountain down into segments. It makes the slog easier somehow. So, we start off on our gruelling trek by approaching "The Punisher". This hill has an incline of oh, say 60% and lasts for roughly 700 metres! Naturally It feels like kilometres, especially when you are pushing 32kgs worth of weight in front of you. We walk up this hill cursing the whole time and swearing to never do it again.

We clear the punisher and then have a lovely undulating walk or jog around the base of the mountain. Roughly half way around we approach "The Excruciator". Now, the punisher really is bad, but this hill - well, look what we have named it! It's roughly 300 metres but has an incline of 100%. You basically need to take your own oxygen supply as the air pressure gets so low up there! Trail mix and a rashen pack are a must! Sexy twin and I could be in the middle of discussing World news and events (ha) and no sooner do we see the turn off leading to the excruciator the conversation takes a sudden turn:

Sexy Twin: Oh goodness no (maybe said a little more explicitly than this), look where we are.....
Me: I know, I've been thinking about this, and dreading it, since yesterday when we thought we'd walk up here
Sexy Twin: It's excruciating
Me: Yes, it really bloody is. I HATE this hill. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Both of us simultaneously: WHY, OH GOD WHYYYYYYYYYY (now, imagine us down on our knees hands stretched towards the sky screaming this).

Up we go. The excruciator is not a mandatory part of this walk. In fact we are fairly convinced we discovered this track. We should stick a flag at the top and leave a lovely footprint to match!

Sexy Twin and I are unintentionally competitive. Comes with the twin territory I suspect. We have been competing since conception no doubt. I mean, c'mon we shared a placenta so no doubt there was in-utero competition. "Oh look, Mum just ate some chocolate" followed by "Back of sexy twin foetus, they're mine, come near them and I'll give you a nose like Miss Piggy". So the discovery of the excruciator was probably a dare that escalated into a double dare and thus a physical challenge ensued. Not to be outdone the other would have marched up the steep track behind the other with an equal point to prove.

After the excruciator (and the defibrillator) we then jog down the punisher all the while pounding that pavement as if it's some sort of sweet revenge. When all is said and done the satisfaction one feels when completing such a mammoth trek is enough to consider facing those gruelling hills for another day. And we do.